![]() He's like a hideous cross between Shockeye and Gollum. But what Russell T Davies comes up with instead is even worse than Cuddly Master. We do like the idea of a less giggly, much darker Master, and God knows John Simm has the talent for it. Now you'd think, wouldn't you, that since we said John Simm was too nice as the Master in The Sound Of Drums/Last Of The Time Lords we'd like this version better? He's not nice here, after all. Perhaps he's irked by having L'Oreal Extra Light Blonde #11 chucked over him by his wife? Anyway, he's mad as hell and he's not going to take it any more. Seems nobody's hugged this hoodie recently, because he's very nasty indeed. But there's barely time for an impeccable cameo by June Whitfield before we're back to the horror that is the Master. And since it's followed by the pointless and swiftly discarded Naismiths and the thousand and third SFy gate thing ever filmed, it's a massive relief to get back to Wilf. From the spectacularly awful dialogue ("As it was written in the secret books of Saxon, these are the potions of life!" "You bore his imprint!" "We give ourselves that Saxon might live!") to the Harry Potter-alike cauldron action, seasoned with some wild scenery-chewing by John Simm and topped off by Murray crashing and thundering along in the background, it's a true behind the sofa moment. Then hey, it's the Master's wife again! Didn't we say we suspected her story wasn't over? (We were wrong about it being her picking up the Master's ring, but we can't win 'em all.) And then whoa! It's that big ol' reset button again! The Doctor turned time back so nobody would remember Harold Saxon, but just as with getting rid of all the Daleks and blah blah blah he might as well have spent the time playing hopscotch for all it stuck. The scene with the Ood is actually really good: portentous and all, but in a good way, and it gets the necessary exposition out of the way very nicely while investing it all with a real sense of dread. Which turns out not to have been a great idea fate of the universe-wise. The TARDIS lands in a snowy landscape (snow, if you haven't been paying attention, always equals very bad things in the Russell T Davies universe) and we discover that the Doctor's taken the long way round to his appointment with the Ood. We don't mind a bit of mystery, but leaving this one so obscure is mystery for mystery's sake and is just annoying.īack to the story. There are a number of possibilities, but since they never say, as far as we're concerned it's pointless to speculate. Ha! Kidding! Apparently in the commentary Russell T Davies says she's the Doctor's mother, but without confirmation in the programmes themselves, that's not canon. No idea who she is, but we're sure it'll all be straightened out in the end. Could be a hint, do you think? Maybe? Maybe? Then Mysterious Lady In White turns up and they have a chat. While Timothy pompouses on, Wilf wanders into a church and stands in front of a memorial board with the words "Who died for their…" catching the light. Not that we expected Bernard Cribbins to be anything less than stellar, but he's a total rockstar in these episodes. Never mind, because here's Wilf! Ah, Wilf. Get your minds out of the gutter), but narration is tricky at the best of times, and when you fill it with all manner of pompous omens, portents, and gnomic utterances, it’s a killer. We’d love to have Timothy Dalton caressing our tympanic membranes all day (they’re in our ears. But let's face it, there's also a pretty big heap of dross. ![]() There's also some quite good other stuff in there too, here and there. Some astonishingly beautiful scenes which are the best Doctor Who can be. When the ice melts away, there's a little pile of sparkling, unbearably perfect jewels sitting in the sink. You know how some people store their valuables in the freezer to fool thieves? Well, imagine taking that block of murky, contaminated ice out of the freezer and running it under the hot tap. We don't really need it, because we did all that last year, but we're getting it all the same.Īnd what's it like? Is it better than Russell T Davies's usual finales, which started splendidly with The Christmas Invasion but have ranged from disappointing to terrible ever since? You thought he was done with all the go-me end-of-an-era stuff then? You were wrong, too. In our review of The Stolen Earth/Journey's End, we said those episodes were Russell T Davies's swansong as far as giant finales were concerned.
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